I'm NOT crazy!

I am NOT crazy! Just because I...

...have an escape plan in case of a zombie attack

...will not swim in a pool alone because of the risk of being eaten by a shark

...have a system of eating my dinner: brocolli and cauliflower, then corn, then mash and meat.

...like the smell of textbooks

...think one of the most delicious things to dip your hot chips in is a chocolate milkshake

...occasionally bite my fingernails so bad that there is no fingernail left. I do this at least once a year. At the moment I have *looks at fingers* two mutilated fingernails, and two recovering. Yes it hurts.

...have a phobia of telephones. I don't usually ring people. Text messages are my FRIEND!

...have over 20 pet snakes. At least now they live in the shed, we used to share our bedroom with 3 amorous carpet snakes, who would rattle the glass on their cage trying to reach each other during breeding season. (PS snake sex is incredibly boring. They align their parts and then lie there. Lazy buggers!)

...still love watching kid shows. Thanks for the excuse to keep the habit, Butterfly!

...was extremely excited the other night when Russell Brand mentioned that he was friends with David Walliams during a show. I thought, "That's one step closer to the ultimate threesome!"

.... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... sorry, got lost daydreaming about a threesome...

...LOVES spaghetti bolognese, but HATES reheated spaghetti bolognese

...have to touch the knobs to the stove to make sure they are turned off, if I am going away from the house for more than 12 hours. I have never recovered from getting half way to the Sunshine Coast and thinking I'd left the iron on...

...hate jewellery. Yes I'm a traitor to my sex, but I just don't get it. Expensive, dangly, annoying. I don't even have my ears peirced.

...seriously almost let my husband give me a hair cut the other night. Thats how little I care about how my hair looks. I would have, only Butterfly didn't go to bed early enough.

...often worry that there are cameras in my house and people are watching everything I'm doing. Snuggling with husband can only be done in the dark. ONLY!

...wishes Harry Potter was real, and I was a witch, and 14 years old, and went to Hogwarts! I want to know what Butterbeer tastes like! Anyone with me on that one?

OK so I am a LITTLE crazy. But like I tell my husband, he knew that when he married me...