And I fell pregnant.
Literally, that month.
Previous months (like, 3 years worth) I had all kinds of symptoms that always fooled me into thinking "this might be the month". Like nausea, breast tenderness etc. The month I fell pregnant, all that happened was that I STUNK. Like, really really bad. I was even giving people apologetic looks at the opshop. My crystal deodorant had just broken and I just assumed my new brand was dodgy! Only I didn't stink at all, it was my sense of smell going all superhuman on me.
After a few days of this I got suspicious. So I took a test, at night, a day early, just because I had a big packet and wasn't trying anymore. There was the faintest line! My husband couldn't even see it. But my belly was all butterflies, I knew this was it. So like with Butterfly, I woke up at dawn, too excited to wait, and took a "proper" test. TWO DARK LINES!!!!!
I had a great pregnancy, not easy, but great! I wanted a home birth but my town's midwife was going to be away (Bear was due at Christmas). So I ended up travelling to the Sunshine Coast for a "grandparent's home" birth. I had THE best midwife support during my pregnancy, for the birth, and still to this day. But I will write Bear's birth story in a different post. If you are on the Sunshine Coast "Know Your Midwife" is beyond amazing.
A long story short: I did it! Bear was born in his Grandma's living room, in the water, naturally. A successful HBAC!
Bear is the sweetest little baby. He had a lot of chiropractic issues from his birth (which was amazing, but not uneventful!) that made him a little high maintenance to begin with. Dr Scott at Sunshine Children's Chiropractic fixed him right up! Highly recommend.
Since the minute he was born he has been Butterfly's biggest fan! I didn't know a newborn could favour people, but he had this adorable little "quack" he would only vocalise to her. He is 4 months now, and it even more obvious that he adores his sissy. He is a smiley, happy boy, but never moreso than when he is with Butterfly. She has him in fits of giggles!
I had never planned on a 5.5 year age gap, but it has been perfect for our family. Butterfly has never shown any jealousy, she worships him. Of course the adjustment was a bit of a shock for her, but she only ever directed her annoyance at us, never her brother. That's fine by me! We had lived at her grandparents for over a month, went home for two weeks and then moved to a new city. She has handled it very well considering!
My period of infertility has given me the gift of perspective. I am truly appreciating Bear every single day, drinking in all of his squishy goodness, staying present in the moment. Having a baby isn't a picnic, but it is a unique period of my life that I am treasuring! Having another baby made me realise how much I forgot about Butterfly as a baby. So I will take the photos, and the videos, but mostly I will just soak him up right now. Not so that this time I "remember", because I know I won't remember every little detail. I am just enjoying him here, now.
Bear is a very different baby to Butterfly, and has put my parenting convictions to the test!
I never wanted to use a dummy... so the universe laughed and sent me Bear. Who refuses to comfort suck at the breast because of my jet powered letdown
I always wanted to cosleep... so the universe laughed and sent me Bear. Who was SO noisy as a newborn I almost moved him out of the room. Almost!
I wanted to have my baby rear facing for at least a year... so the universe laughed and sent me Bear. Who cannot go 5 minutes down the road without screaming his "balls out" (as Butterfly would say). I'm counting down the days to 6 months now so I can turn him around!
I didn't like baby swings... so the universe laughed and sent me Bear. Who needed constant motion. If we didn't live in a Smurf mushroom I would have bought every swing available!
I wanted to babywear... so the universe laughed and sent me Bear. Who, until recently, HATED my soft structured carriers, preferring complicated wraps. And now he's fine with my Yamo, but he is SO HEAVY! 90th percentile, baby!
I am passionate about cloth nappies... but this kid peed through just about every nappy as a newborn! So. Much. Washing. These days we have the occasional leak, but thank goodness his thighs have chubbed up!
But seriously, I am on cloud nine! Bear has brought SO much joy to our family! I must kiss his cheeks at least a thousand times a day.
Mama has waited a long time for you, baby!
You are most definitely worth the wait
"Nice to meet you
Where you been?
I could show you incredible things..."
- Taylor Swift